you...

lost again...

I woke up this morning feeling lost. I tried to remember what I dreamed about to give me this feeling, but I failed. The whole day I tried to shake off the feeling, but again I failed. Suddenly it dawned on me... I feel lost not because I dreamed of you, but because I am without you. The cold reality of life without you struck me down yet again. I wish I can just will you away. I wish I can wake up one day and not feel lost. I wish I can find myself believing that there is life and love without you. I wish I can stop myself from wishing because I'm finally over you...

I move on... hoping for a miracle. If not a life with you, then a blessed release from loving you will do.

Goodbye 2006

Cold weather, pristine snow, spectacular sunsets, a hot cup of coffee in front of a lighted fireplace... and my memories of you. A potent mixture sure to lead to a breakdown, wouldn't you say? But surprisingly, I was okay. Goodbye 2006, the hardest year that I had to go through to date.

No denying I shed some tears, that I felt an old ache in my heart, wished things could have been different... I guess these would never leave me when I think of you, but I am better. Took a really long time and a promise to someone very dear, a harder task than just getting over you... to be happy again.

It's been three months since I made that promise. I admit, I am far from being happy, but I know I will get there eventually. Like I said last year, maybe next year...