I cannot say how the day will go. I'm not even sure if it started out already, and if it did, how it actually started. All I know is I'm trapped in this dream... with him.
The dream itself is nothing of note. Just a regular day... together. You might be wondering how a day can be called regular when it is supposed to be spent with him? Yes, I know. It cannot be a regular day, for one, I am not with him. Have not been for almost ten years. I may have seen him, what? three-five times in all those ten years? Most of those times he would be unaware that I was even there, the rest? I don't know... maybe. You see, he is like me in a way, he knows when I am around.
Ah, yes. The dream... It started out with me getting ready for a day out. I was singing... a happy song. I was even putting on a red blouse, one of his favorites. As I was dreaming this, there was a voice in my head saying, "you are dreaming, this is not real". But the dream went on. I heard a car horn sounding from outside. I took a peak from the window and saw his car parked right in front. I hurriedly grabbed my bag, took one last look in the mirror and rushed outside to meet him. I can see my face in that dream. In fact, I can feel what I was feeling in that dream. My face was so radiant, I was so happy... My mind kept telling me... it is just a dream, none of it is real... but my heart refused to believe. I doesn't look like a dream, it certainly doesn't feel like a dream. I am there with him... and I am happy.
We drove to one of our favorite places. To see the sights so to speak. It was a glorious day. The sun was out, only a few clouds in the sky, and there's always a light breeze keeping us company. We walked hand in hand. It felt so right... me holding his hand. It gave me a feeling of contentment, of peace. Wake up, my mind said, but I refused. I am holding his hand and I am content. A slight breeze came our way and I caught a scent in the air... his scent. I breathed in deeply, savoring that sweet smell of his. I must have caught my breath... my mind is frantic now... wake up! But still I refused. I let that smell envelop me in my sleep.
We talked of everything and nothing. I hear him laugh at my silly jokes. My mind pleaded... please wake up. But I am not asleep... I am there... I am with him... he is holding my hand... and I can hear him laughing. And then he turned and gave me that smile of his which always set my heart fluttering. And I smiled back. I felt so blessed, lucky that I have found my one true love and that he is right here with me. Smiling at me, holding my hand, and saying he loved me too...
My mind is now screaming... wake up! don't do this to yourself !
And finally, though my entire being fought so hard to do otherwise, I woke up. Gasping, I tried to calm myself down. My pillow was wet, I must have crying for some time now. As I try to get above that dream state, I caught his scent again, felt his hand in mine... so real it felt that I actually looked to see if he was here with me, in my room. That was when I accepted that it was all a dream.
It's getting late, I have to get ready for work. As I went out of the apartment, I hear the sound of a car honking it's horn. Just like in the dream, I looked. But of course he is not there. I got in the car and as I was driving, his scent assaulted my senses again. I looked over to the passenger side expecting him to be there... he wasn't. I took my hand off the wheels, to turn on the radio and I felt his hand reaching out for mine... I looked up and I see him smiling at me...
And I cried... I am awake but I am still trapped in this dream... with him. And unlike in the dream, I can feel both emotions. Happiness that he is here with me... and pain in knowing that it is not real.
