Just finished reading "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" by Mitch Albom. It's a story about an 83-year old man who died on his birthday trying to save a little girl. The story did not start at the beginning but rather at the last hour of his life. The story started with his end, but like the author said, an end can be a beginning.
Each of the five people might be your loved ones or distant strangers but each would have touched your life and changed your path forever. Each would hold the key to understanding why you chose to travel down a certain road and turn your back on another. At the end of it all, you will understand who you are, why you existed, how you touched other lives, what you did to make a difference.
The story was simply told. Though the story is based on a belief in God and a life after death, it carried none of usual evangelizing that you might find in other faith-based books, very different from your "light at the end of the tunnel" type of thing. I find myself liking this story better. Just like the living, the dead might also have questions that they want answered and this story provided us with that possibility.
As to who those five people would be for me, I have no clue. As for going to heaven or hell for that matter, I still have to convince myself that they exist. It's hard enough to believe that there is a reason for one's existence here on earth, much less what goes beyond it. Who knows, if I never find the answers I am searching for while I still live, I might find them when I am gone from this world. Or then again, I might just find out that there is no place beyond this earth, or I might really not know at all because death is the end.
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
two months in darkness
Time continually surprise me with how quickly it always seem to pass. We are now nearing the end of February and to think I can still taste the food we had last Christmas. Two months into the year and what have I got to show for it?
Memory is such a fickle thing. Though I remember last Christmas, I have no clear recollection of what went on the last two months. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine, she said that it is because my mind is so strong that it blocks out any thought that might affect me negatively. What she said made me think. There is only one thing that can affect me negatively. Does that mean most of my thoughts have been circling around on one thing?
Two months into the year...
Memory is such a fickle thing. Though I remember last Christmas, I have no clear recollection of what went on the last two months. When I mentioned this to a friend of mine, she said that it is because my mind is so strong that it blocks out any thought that might affect me negatively. What she said made me think. There is only one thing that can affect me negatively. Does that mean most of my thoughts have been circling around on one thing?
Two months into the year...
Monday, February 13, 2006
Valentine's Day
A day specially for the heart... for people in love, for people with love in their hearts. This should have been a joyous occasion, but not for me. I may be in love and have love in my heart, but I am alone. Telling myself to forget and move on, but knowing in my heart that I will love him forever. Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetheart!
Thursday, February 09, 2006
when the rain falls...
I know my friends meant well with this. The English version will not do the song justice, but the words are very apt.
ULAN RAIN
- by Cuesche
Lagi na lang umuulan The rain just kept falling
Parang walang katapusan Raining like there is no end
Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon Just like the pain I have in my heart
Parang walang humpay Feels like there'll be no end
Sa kabila ng lahat ng aking pagsisikap No matter how hard I tried
Na limutin ka ay di pa rin magawa I still can't seem to forget you
Hindi naman ako tanga I am not a fool
Alam ko na wala ka na I know that you are gone
Pero mahirap lang na tanggapin But it is just so hard to accept
Di na kita kapiling That you're no longer by my side
Iniwan mo ako nag-iisa You left me all alone
Sa gitna ng dilim at basing-basa pa sa ulan In the dark and in the rain
Pero huwag mag-alala But you don't have to worry
Di na kita gagambalain I will not bother you
Alam ko naman ngayon Because I know that
May kapiling ka nang-iba You are with someone else
Tanging hiling ko sa'yo All that I ask of you
Na tuwing umu-ulan Every time the rain falls
Maalala mo sanang may May you remember that
Nagmamahal sa'yo. There is someone loving you
Ako... Me...
Lalalalalalalalala Lalalalalalalalala
When we parted ways, it was a rainy day. But the rain stopped when I cried. I guess the rain felt that it can never compete with the tears I'm shedding. The day was overcast and the night was chilly, but it cannot compare with the darkness that clouded my heart and the coldness that enveloped me. I tried over the years to forget, but I got tired of trying. I know I was a fool to think I'd be able to forget you. I stayed away, though it pains me to do so. I remember that time we were sitting in the car, it was raining hard but we didn't care. You held my hand and told me you loved me, your eyes said more to my heart than your words ever could. I love driving when it rains, because I can feel that moment coming back to embrace me, reminding me that it wasn't just a dream. That for one moment your heart and mine were one. Whatever did we do wrong?
ULAN RAIN
- by Cuesche
Lagi na lang umuulan The rain just kept falling
Parang walang katapusan Raining like there is no end
Tulad ng paghihirap ko ngayon Just like the pain I have in my heart
Parang walang humpay Feels like there'll be no end
Sa kabila ng lahat ng aking pagsisikap No matter how hard I tried
Na limutin ka ay di pa rin magawa I still can't seem to forget you
Hindi naman ako tanga I am not a fool
Alam ko na wala ka na I know that you are gone
Pero mahirap lang na tanggapin But it is just so hard to accept
Di na kita kapiling That you're no longer by my side
Iniwan mo ako nag-iisa You left me all alone
Sa gitna ng dilim at basing-basa pa sa ulan In the dark and in the rain
Pero huwag mag-alala But you don't have to worry
Di na kita gagambalain I will not bother you
Alam ko naman ngayon Because I know that
May kapiling ka nang-iba You are with someone else
Tanging hiling ko sa'yo All that I ask of you
Na tuwing umu-ulan Every time the rain falls
Maalala mo sanang may May you remember that
Nagmamahal sa'yo. There is someone loving you
Ako... Me...
Lalalalalalalalala Lalalalalalalalala
When we parted ways, it was a rainy day. But the rain stopped when I cried. I guess the rain felt that it can never compete with the tears I'm shedding. The day was overcast and the night was chilly, but it cannot compare with the darkness that clouded my heart and the coldness that enveloped me. I tried over the years to forget, but I got tired of trying. I know I was a fool to think I'd be able to forget you. I stayed away, though it pains me to do so. I remember that time we were sitting in the car, it was raining hard but we didn't care. You held my hand and told me you loved me, your eyes said more to my heart than your words ever could. I love driving when it rains, because I can feel that moment coming back to embrace me, reminding me that it wasn't just a dream. That for one moment your heart and mine were one. Whatever did we do wrong?
Monday, February 06, 2006
a song, a life, a story
A friend sent me this. She thought it might interest me...
I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine
CHORUS
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you
I guess she's right. I clearly remember the first time I saw him and funny that he did ask me my name. Later everybody who knew me would know that what I remember and like most about him is his smile. My life did change. I guess he came at the right time. But then... I will never forget... how much I...
I found what most people can only dream of, my one true love. Words will never be able to express that wonderful feeling. Writers and poets have tried to say it in so many words, but for all that have been written, it barely touched the surface of what love truly mean.
My one true love, remembering gives me bittersweet memories. I know I didn't have you for very long, but my love for you stayed with me. The few times that we've had together reminds me of unsurpassed happiness that made life without you almost bearable. For a long time I hoped that one day we'll find ourselves together again. But as years pass by, I had to let go of that hope, if only to try and find myself and be able to live once more. To a certain extent, I have moved on, more out of neccessity than anything else. I still remember, at times I still cry, sometimes I wish, but mostly I stop myself from wishing and hoping.
I remember so well
The day that you came into my life
You asked for my name
You had the most beautiful smile
My life started to change
I'd wake up each day feeling alright
With you right by my side
Makes me feel things will work out just fine
CHORUS
How did you know
I needed someone like you in my life
That there's an empty space in my heart
You came at the right time in my life
I'll never forget
How you brought the sun to shine in my life
And took all the worries and fears that I had
I guess what I'm really trying to say
It's not everyday that someone like you comes my way
No words can express how much I love you
I guess she's right. I clearly remember the first time I saw him and funny that he did ask me my name. Later everybody who knew me would know that what I remember and like most about him is his smile. My life did change. I guess he came at the right time. But then... I will never forget... how much I...
I found what most people can only dream of, my one true love. Words will never be able to express that wonderful feeling. Writers and poets have tried to say it in so many words, but for all that have been written, it barely touched the surface of what love truly mean.
My one true love, remembering gives me bittersweet memories. I know I didn't have you for very long, but my love for you stayed with me. The few times that we've had together reminds me of unsurpassed happiness that made life without you almost bearable. For a long time I hoped that one day we'll find ourselves together again. But as years pass by, I had to let go of that hope, if only to try and find myself and be able to live once more. To a certain extent, I have moved on, more out of neccessity than anything else. I still remember, at times I still cry, sometimes I wish, but mostly I stop myself from wishing and hoping.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
remembering valentine's day
Once again we come to that time of year when people all over the world celebrate love. This event is most special to people who have found love and are with the people they love. But what happens when you find yourself alone on this special day? More importantly, what happens when on this particular day, you find out that you have been betrayed by the person who mattered at that time?
The 14th of February, Valentine's Day as we call it, a day for lovers and people in love. It's been so long since I've celebrated this day. In fact, it's been so long ago that I cannot even remember how it was celebrated. All I remember now on this day is that I found out the truth of cataclysmic proportions that eventually changed the rest of my life.
After that day so many years ago, I thought that was the end of any romanticism in me. I thought that would be the end of me believing in love. How wrong I was. I found out later on that I never even knew what it was to love, be in love and be loved in return. What happened was more a betrayal of trust. It was not necessarily a better thing to happen but then, it was nothing compared to what was to come.
Certain things require proof and then some only require faith or to a lesser degree, gut feel. But then, what exactly are we supposed to do when gut feel surfaces, your mind refuse to believe what you feel and then you are suddenly confronted with undeniable proof? It took a while for me to digest everything that's been happening. It took some time for me to decide what to do, but once decided it's final. People frowned, tongues wagged, but I moved on. Now all that is a distant past and even the memory is fading. Ironic how hard it is for me to remember when I have something that serves as a constant reminder of that past. But then again, memory can be a fickle thing and the mind will always forget what is unimportant.
The 14th of February, Valentine's Day as we call it, a day for lovers and people in love. It's been so long since I've celebrated this day. In fact, it's been so long ago that I cannot even remember how it was celebrated. All I remember now on this day is that I found out the truth of cataclysmic proportions that eventually changed the rest of my life.
After that day so many years ago, I thought that was the end of any romanticism in me. I thought that would be the end of me believing in love. How wrong I was. I found out later on that I never even knew what it was to love, be in love and be loved in return. What happened was more a betrayal of trust. It was not necessarily a better thing to happen but then, it was nothing compared to what was to come.
Certain things require proof and then some only require faith or to a lesser degree, gut feel. But then, what exactly are we supposed to do when gut feel surfaces, your mind refuse to believe what you feel and then you are suddenly confronted with undeniable proof? It took a while for me to digest everything that's been happening. It took some time for me to decide what to do, but once decided it's final. People frowned, tongues wagged, but I moved on. Now all that is a distant past and even the memory is fading. Ironic how hard it is for me to remember when I have something that serves as a constant reminder of that past. But then again, memory can be a fickle thing and the mind will always forget what is unimportant.
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